What is the Percentage of Divorced Couples Who Get Back Together?

Key Takeaways

  1. Reunion Rates: Between 10-15% of separated couples reconcile, and approximately 6% of divorced couples remarry each other.
  2. Age’s Role: Marrying at a younger age can influence decisions and perspectives on relationships. As individuals mature, they might reconsider previous choices, leading to potential reunions.
  3. Personal Growth: Time apart can foster personal growth and change. This evolution, coupled with a new understanding of oneself and one’s partner, can be a catalyst for reunions.
  4. Challenges Ahead: Reunited couples are not exempt from challenges. They must address past grievances, manage external perceptions, realign after personal changes, and navigate the potential complexities of remarriage.
  5. Foundations Matter: For a successful reunion, open communication, self-reflection, setting boundaries, and, if necessary, seeking professional counseling are crucial steps.


In an age where we’re often bombarded with pessimistic views on love and the grim statistics of divorce rates, isn’t it refreshing to consider the other side of the coin? Think about it: for every story of a marriage ending, there might be an inspiring tale of reconciliation waiting to be told. It’s time to shift our focus and ask the burning question: How many couples, after braving the storm of separation, find their way back to the sanctuary of each other’s arms?

Picture a world where we’re as obsessed with the stories of rekindled romances as we are with tales of breakups. Isn’t there something profoundly hopeful about the idea that love can be rediscovered, even after the gavel of divorce has struck?

In the realm of relationships, the end isn’t always truly the end. While the societal lens often zeroes in on the gloomy prevalence of divorces, a lesser-known but equally significant narrative emerges from the shadows – the tale of couples reuniting after the seemingly final act of divorce.

Reuniting by the Numbers

Drawing from research, notably from sources such as Psychology Today, we uncover a surprising statistic : an encouraging 10-15% of couples decide to reconcile post-separation. Furthermore, among these brave souls who traverse the complex landscape of past disagreements and heartbreaks, approximately 6% opt to recommit through remarriage. These figures challenge the oft-held belief that once a marriage ends, so does the love story.

Unraveling the Trends

Over time, these rates of reunion post-divorce have shown subtle fluctuations. But what’s truly captivating is the “why” behind these reunions:

  1. Triumph Over Trauma: For many, the act of separation and divorce is preceded by betrayals or deep-seated misunderstandings. However, instead of marking a definitive end, these events sometimes serve as catalysts. Couples often find themselves navigating the trauma, healing wounds, and emerging with a strengthened bond that they believe is worth another shot.
  2. Enduring Emotions: Beyond the arguments and challenges, many divorced couples come to a profound realization. The depth of their feelings for one another, rather than waning, emerges more potent, pulling them back into each other’s orbits.

They remind us that love stories can have second chapters, and sometimes, the journey back to love is just as beautiful, if not more, than the initial descent into it.

Why Divorced Partners End Up Reuniting

Why Divorced Partners End Up Reuniting

We found interesting information in an article [2] of Verywell Mind. Here is more insight:

a. Maturity and Age Factor: In the grand tapestry of life, age and maturity hold significant sway, particularly in the realm of relationships. Think back to our younger selves; weren’t we all a little impulsive, a tad bit impatient, and sometimes ill-equipped to handle the intricacies of a relationship? For many couples, an early marriage becomes a mirror reflecting their lack of preparedness for the demands of marital life. Fast forward a few years, and with the wisdom that age brings, perspectives shift.

b. Addressing Past Issues: The path to reunification often requires a deep dive into the maze of past misunderstandings and conflicts. ​By addressing and resolving these past skeletons, couples lay a refreshed foundation, free from the weight of unresolved disputes.

c. Personal Growth and Rediscovery: Separation, while painful, sometimes offers a silver lining: a chance for individual growth. Time apart often serves as a period of introspection, leading to personal evolution. And as both partners evolve, they often rediscover each other in a new light. The qualities they once took for granted or the nuances they overlooked suddenly become the very reasons they feel drawn to each other again.

d. Forgiveness and Letting Go: The heart’s capacity to forgive is nothing short of miraculous. While grievances and grudges can cast long shadows, with time, many individuals find the strength to let go of past hurts. This act of forgiveness isn’t just about absolving the other person but about liberating oneself from the chains of resentment. It paves the way for a fresh start, unburdened by the past.

e. Ties That Bind: The Ex-Family Connection: Family, as they say, is forever. And in many cases, the bond with an ex’s family remains strong, even post-divorce. Whether it’s the warm relationship with former in-laws or the bond shared with mutual nephews and nieces, these ties serve as a reminder of the life couples once shared, subtly nudging them towards reconsidering their separation.

f. The Comfort of Familiarity: Life has a way of throwing curveballs, and during these tumultuous times, the heart often seeks solace in the familiar. This familiarity, far from being mundane, provides a cocoon of emotional security. For many divorced individuals, the pull towards what was once known, and comforting can serve as a compelling reason to reconsider their separation.

g. The Reality of Singlehood: While the idea of singlehood might seem liberating initially, with time, the realities become clearer.  Weekend solitude, the silence of a home, and the absence of shared rituals and routines can weigh heavily.

h. Rekindled Love: Love, as countless poets and writers have proclaimed, is enduring. While anger, misunderstandings, or external pressures might lead to a marital rift, the embers of love often continue to smolder beneath. Time apart can fan these embers back into a roaring flame, making individuals realize the depth and authenticity of their feelings.

i. Reevaluating the Reasons for Divorce: With the clarity that time provides, many individuals begin to introspect the reasons that led to their divorce. Was it an impulsive decision taken in the heat of the moment? Or perhaps, on reflection, the reasons for the split now seem insufficient in the grander scheme of life. This reevaluation can lead to the acknowledgment that perhaps the divorce was premature or unnecessary, prompting couples to seek a fresh start.

In essence, the reasons behind divorced couples reuniting are as diverse as the stories of love itself. From age-induced wisdom to the gentle nudges from ex-families, the pathways leading back to love are many, reminding us of all that sometimes, love deserves a second chance.

Potential Challenges and Considerations for Reunited Couples

Rekindling a romance and reuniting with a former spouse certainly has its fairy-tale allure. The prospect of rediscovering love and rebuilding a relationship can be deeply seductive. However, like all relationships, a second chance at marriage comes with its own set of unique challenges.

Challenges to Anticipate:

  1. Carrying Old Baggage: Couples may find that unresolved issues from their past resurface. This includes past grievances, arguments, and hurts that were never truly dealt with.
  2. External Perceptions: Society, friends, or family members might have reservations or opinions about the reunion, which can add external pressure.
  3. Over-idealization: There’s a risk of viewing the past through rose-tinted glasses, leading to unrealistic expectations of the second time around.
  4. Navigating Changes: Both partners have likely experienced personal growth or change during their time apart. These changes can impact dynamics and require adjustment.
  5. Legal and Financial Complexities: If the couple has legally divorced, remarriage can bring about legal and financial implications.

Recommendations for Couples Considering Reunion:

  1. Seek Counseling: Engaging in couples therapy can be instrumental in addressing past issues and building a healthy foundation for the future.
  2. Open Communication: Ensuring open channels of communication will be vital.
  3. Take It Slow: There’s no rush. Consider dating before jumping back into marriage.
  4. Engage in Self-reflection: Both partners should spend time reflecting on why they wish to reunite and what they hope will be different this time.
  5. Set Boundaries: Establish boundaries concerning external influences.
  6. Stay Informed: If considering remarriage, consult with legal professionals to understand any implications.


a. What percentage of divorced couples reunite?
Based on the provided statistics, between 10-15% of couples reconcile after separation, and about 6% of couples remarry each other after they divorce.

b. Does age at the time of divorce influence the chances of reuniting?
Yes, age plays a significant role in reunions. Many couples who marry at a younger age may not be fully equipped to manage the intricacies of marital life. As they mature and gain more life experience, their perspectives on relationships evolve, which can lead them to reconsider previous decisions and potentially reunite.

c. How do personal growth and individual changes influence reunions?
Time apart often serves as an avenue for introspection and personal growth. This individual evolution can lead to the rediscovery of one’s partner in a new light. As both individuals grow, they might feel drawn to each other once more, recognizing qualities they had previously taken for granted or overlooked.

d. What challenges do reunited couples face?
Reunited couples often grapple with unresolved issues from their past, face external pressures from society or family, and might over-idealize their past relationship.  

At Cooper Trachtenberg Law Group, LLC, we specialize in guiding divorced couples towards reconciliation, ensuring that legalities support your renewed commitment. A second chance at love deserves experienced guidance.  Connect with us today at https://www.mcooperlaw.com/ or call 847-995-8800.

The Role of a Divorce Mediator: Insights from Illinois Attorneys

Divorce is a complicated process for anyone, and it can be incredibly challenging when a couple can’t agree on important issues such as child custody, property division, and spousal support. Litigation is one way to resolve these issues, but it can be costly and time-consuming. That’s where divorce mediation comes in.

Divorce mediation is a process that permits couples to work together with a neutral third party, known as a mediator, to agree on the issues that need to be resolved in their divorce. Mediation is often less expensive and less time-consuming than litigation, and it can be a more amicable way to end a marriage. In Illinois, divorce mediation is an essential practice that helps couples find conflict resolution with the help of attorneys.

Key Takeaways

  • Divorce mediation is a process that allows couples to work together with a neutral third party, known as a mediator, to agree on the issues that need to be resolved in their divorce.
  • During mediation, a trained mediator acts as a neutral third party, helping two parties resolve their differences and come to an agreement.
  • In divorce mediation, the mediator’s role is facilitating communication between the parties and helping them agree.

What is Divorce Mediation?

Divorce mediation is a form of alternative dispute resolution that allows couples to negotiate a divorce settlement with the help of a neutral third party, the mediator. Mediation is a voluntary process, meaning both parties must agree to participate. During mediation, the mediator helps the parties identify and discuss the issues that need to be resolved, such as property division, child custody, and child support.

Differences Between Mediation and Litigation

Mediation is often compared with litigation, which is the traditional process of resolving legal disputes through the court system. In litigation, each party hires an attorney to represent their interests, and a judge makes decisions on their behalf. Litigation can be a lengthy and expensive process, and the outcome is often uncertain.

In contrast, mediation is generally faster, less expensive, and less adversarial than litigation. Mediation also allows the parties to have more control over the outcome, as they are the ones who ultimately decide what is included in the settlement agreement. Mediation can also be less stressful for the parties and children involved, as it is more collaborative.

Who is a Divorce Mediator? What is their Role in Divorce Mediation?

Divorce mediation is a fundamental yet often misunderstood aspect of family law. Adistinguished mediation practice, unlike an attorney, doesn’t represent either party but serves as a neutral third-party facilitator to aid couples in reaching amicable settlements.

The mediator’s main aim is to create a constructive dialogue between the parties to resolve issues like child custody, alimony, and property division, all within a legally sound framework.

The process is collaborative, confidential, and often more cost-effective and quicker than traditional litigation. At Cooper Trachtenberg Law Group, LLC, our seasoned mediators are adept at crafting fair and enduring agreements, ensuring a smoother transition during this challenging life event.

Here are some of the most important and significant aspects in which a divorce mediator plays a huge role.

Neutral Third-Party Facilitator

The mediator is a neutral third-party facilitator who helps the couple communicate effectively and reach an agreement that is acceptable to both parties. The mediator does not take sides or make decisions for the couple. Instead, the mediator helps the couple identify the issues that need to be resolved and facilitates a discussion to help them reach an agreement.

Assisting Both Parties in Communication

One of the primary roles of a divorce mediator is to assist both parties in communication. Divorce can be an emotional and stressful process, and communication can become difficult. The mediator helps the couple communicate effectively by encouraging them to listen to each other and express their thoughts and feelings in a constructive manner.

The mediator also helps the couple identify areas of agreement and disagreement and encourages them to work together to find a mutually acceptable solution.

Guiding the Decision-Making Process

Another vital role of a divorce mediator is to guide the decision-making process. The mediator helps the couple identify the issues that need to be resolved and encourages them to explore different options for resolving these issues. The mediator also helps the couple evaluate the pros and cons of each option and encourages them to make informed decisions that are in the best interests of both parties.

Reasons why you should Choose Mediation over Litigation

Divorce can be a challenging and emotional process for all parties involved. However, choosing mediation over litigation can benefit those seeking a divorce. Here are some of the main benefits of choosing mediation:


One of the main benefits of choosing mediation over litigation is that it can be cost-effective. Litigation can be expensive, as it involves paying for court fees, attorney fees, and other expenses. In contrast, mediation can be more affordable as it involves fewer legal fees and less time spent in court.

Confidentiality and Privacy

Another benefit of choosing mediation over litigation is that it can be more confidential and private. During mediation, the parties involved work with a neutral third party to come to an agreement. This means that the details of the divorce are kept private, unlike in litigation, where court proceedings are often open to the public.

Control Over the Outcome

Mediation also offers the parties involved more control over the outcome of the divorce. In litigation, a judge makes decisions based on the law, which may only sometimes align with the parties’ wishes. In contrast, mediation allows the parties to work together to reach an agreement that works for everyone involved.

Faster Resolution

Finally, mediation can often lead to a faster resolution than litigation. The court system can be slow in litigation, and cases can drag on for months or even years. In contrast, mediation can be completed in a matter of weeks or months, allowing the parties to move on with their lives more quickly.

Importance of Choosing the Right Mediator

Importance of Choosing the Right Mediator

Choosing the right mediator is crucial as it significantly impacts the process and outcome of the mediation. A skilled mediator can:

Facilitate Communication: Encourage open and effective communication between parties, which is essential for reaching a satisfactory agreement.

Neutral Ground: Provide a neutral and safe environment for discussions, ensuring that both parties feel heard and understood.

Conflict Resolution: Help in resolving conflicts amicably, saving time, money, and emotional distress compared to a court trial.

Legal Knowledge: Offer valuable insights based on legal knowledge which can guide the decision-making process.

Confidentiality: Ensure the confidentiality of the mediation process, providing a private setting for sensitive discussions.

The right mediator aids in navigating through complex emotions and legal intricacies, making the divorce process less adversarial and more collaborative.

Legal Protections in Mediation

Illinois law provides protections for parties participating in mediation. Confidentiality is a key aspect of mediation, and the mediator is bound by law to keep all discussions confidential. This allows the parties to speak freely and openly without fear of their statements being used against them in court.

Illinois law provides that any agreement reached in mediation is enforceable in court, giving parties the peace of mind that their agreement will be upheld.

How Illinois Law Influences Divorce Mediation

Illinois law plays a significant role in divorce mediation. The Illinois Marriage and Dissolution of Marriage Act provides guidance on issues such as child custody, child support, and property division. Mediators must be knowledgeable about these laws and how they impact the parties’ cases. At Cooper Trachtenberg Law Group, LLC, our skilled divorce mediators are familiar with Illinois law and can help the parties navigate the legal system.

Preparing for Divorce Mediation: Tips and Recommendations

Divorce mediation is a step towards a collaborative resolution. This process, although less adversarial than traditional litigation, requires thorough preparation to ensure fruitful discussions and favorable outcomes. Here are some tips and recommendations to help prepare for divorce mediation:

Setting Clear Goals

Before attending mediation, it is essential to set clear goals and objectives. This will help you stay focused during the mediation process and ensure that your needs and interests are represented. You should identify the most critical issues and what you hope to achieve from the mediation process.

Keeping an Open Mind

It is essential to approach mediation with an open mind and a willingness to compromise. Mediation is a collaborative process, and both parties need to be willing to work together to find a mutually acceptable solution. Being open to new ideas and perspectives can help you reach an agreement that works for both parties.

Collaborating with Your Attorney

It is recommended that you collaborate with your attorney before attending mediation. Your attorney can help you understand your legal rights and obligations and provide valuable legal advice during the mediation process. Your attorney can also help you prepare for mediation by gathering relevant information and documents, such as financial records and custody arrangements.

Considering Divorce Mediation in Illinois? Talk to a Cooper Trachtenberg Law Group AttorneyA Leading Divorce Mediation Firm.

Facing legal hurdles in family matters or real estate transactions can be daunting. We can help you overcome these challenges and reach a fair settlement that works for you and your family. At Cooper Trachtenberg Law Group, LLC we stand by your side, turning confusion into clarity and challenges into favorable outcomes.

Contact Us Here or call at 847-995-8800 for a free consultation today. Together, we’ll pave the way for a resolution that puts your peace of mind first.

Final Thoughts

Divorce mediation, facilitated by a neutral mediator, aids couples in reaching consensual divorce terms. They promote communication and cooperation for a mutually agreeable settlement. In Illinois, lawyers are instrumental in offering legal advice, elucidating the legal ramifications of decisions, and aiding informed decision-making. Mediation, being cost-effective, quicker, and less adversarial than litigation, is preferable. However, it’s not suitable for everyone and doesn’t replace legal representation.

It’s advisable for each party to have an attorney. Lawyers can also mediate, orchestrating fruitful discussions and negotiations. Divorce mediation, when conducted with adept mediators and attorneys, can lead to fair and satisfactory agreements, minimizing the distress and unpredictability of litigation.

Frequently Asked Questions

Frequently Asked Questions

What are the benefits of using a divorce mediator in Illinois?

Divorce mediation can offer several benefits for couples seeking to end their marriage in Illinois. Some of the benefits include:

  • Cost savings: Mediation can be less expensive than traditional divorce litigation.
  • Control: Couples have more control over the outcome of their divorce when using mediation.
  • Confidentiality: Mediation sessions are confidential, which can help couples feel more comfortable discussing sensitive issues.
  • Speed: Mediation can be a faster process than traditional divorce litigation.

How can a divorce mediator help with communication during the divorce process?

Divorce mediators are trained to help couples communicate effectively during the divorce process. They can facilitate productive conversations and ensure that each party has the opportunity to express their thoughts and concerns. Mediators can also help couples stay focused on the issues at hand and avoid getting sidetracked by emotional or irrelevant topics.

What factors should be considered when choosing a divorce mediator in Illinois?

When choosing a divorce mediator in Illinois, couples should consider several factors, including:

Experience: Look for a mediator who has experience working with couples in situations similar to yours.

Training: Make sure the mediator has received formal training in mediation techniques.

Style: Consider whether the mediator’s style is a good fit for you and your spouse.

Fees: Make sure you understand the mediator’s fee structure and how much the process is likely to cost.

What are the differences between mediation and traditional divorce litigation in Illinois?

Mediation and traditional divorce litigation are two different approaches to resolving divorce-related issues in Illinois. Some key differences include:

Control: In mediation, couples have more control over the outcome of their divorce. In traditional litigation, a judge makes the final decisions.

Cost: Mediation can be less expensive than traditional litigation.

Speed: Mediation can be a faster process than traditional litigation.

Adversarial vs. Collaborative: Traditional litigation can be an adversarial process, with each party trying to “win” at the expense of the other. Mediation, on the other hand, is a collaborative process designed to help couples find mutually acceptable solutions.

How long does the divorce mediation process typically take in Illinois?

The length of the divorce mediation process in Illinois can vary depending on a few factors, including the complexity of the issues involved and the willingness of the parties to work together. In general, however, the process can take anywhere from a few weeks to several months.

What happens if the parties cannot reach an agreement through divorce mediation in Illinois?

If the parties cannot reach an agreement through divorce mediation in Illinois, they may need to pursue traditional divorce litigation. However, mediation can still be a practical process even if an agreement is not reached. Mediation can help couples identify the issues that are most important to them and clarify their positions, which can make the traditional litigation process more efficient.